Breaking news from Wren’s nest…..

There is a very fat robin visiting our nest. We shall call him Fatso. Do you think he knows that there is a snowstorm heading our way this weekend? Poor Fatso. I hope he loads up at the worm buffet.

In honor of Fatso, check out this cool shirt design!

Being that it’s Sunday, I think a confessions-only post is à propos. Again. I did this a month or so again and I’m feeling like it’s a good time again…

Confessions

• I can’t quite describe how excited I am that we have a blooming purple crocus flower near our house. Yes, it’s true! Something is alive out there. Granted it’s in its own ecosystem that only the dryer vent can create, but still. I’m giddy!
• For the first time in about six months of going to yoga almost every week and leaving Wren with Chris for a couple hours, I didn’t worry about her. I actually was focused on my practice. In a way, I feel great about it because that’s what I should be doing, but also a bit guilty that I wasn’t worried. Such is life. Oy yoy yoy.
• The Girl Scout cookies were getting the best of me so I gave the last two boxes to Bert and Ernie. They (the cookies, not Bert and Ernie) were really good–as always–but I really have no self-control when there are cookies in the house so I’m breathing a lot easier now. Whew.
• We have no “Spring Break” plans to speak of, but we love it when all of Traverse City goes to Florida for a week and we have the place to ourselves. Looking forward to a fruity beverage with some friends and a toast to staycations. Maybe I’ll even sneak in ten minutes at the “fake and bake.”  Really?! No, silly. Do you have any big plans, dear readers?
• Thinking about putting together an Easter basket for Wren with all my favorite Easter candies. Ah the joys of having a wee one who doesn’t eat Easter candy yet! Selfish? Yes. What’s your favorite Easter candy? Easter used to be my favorite holiday simply because of the candy. Although it’s not my favorite holiday anymore, I still rank the candy at the top. Are my priorities really that juvenile? Don’t answer that.
• This past sleepless week has pushed me one step closer to attempt some “gentle sleep training” with my little birdie. She’s almost ten months old. Does she really need to hang out with me every couple hours? It’s sweet and snuggly and I know it won’t last forever so I’m a bit reluctant, but my body and mind are beginning to become a wee bit … tired, for lack of a more creative, less hackneyed term. See? If I weren’t so tired I might have come up with a better term. Oof.
• I love dogs, I really do. And it’s not their fault that their owners let them shit on the sidewalk all winter long. But now that the snow is melted and the *tootsie rolls* are revealed like land mines all over the neighborhood, it makes me sneer at every dog that I see. Especially the barking ones because they’re more likely to shit on the sidewalk, right? See the logic in all this? Dog owners, get your shit together.
• We got a share of grass-fed beef from a local farm earlier this winter and I’ve tried really hard to find tasty ways to prepare all the different cuts. Although it’s better than commercially-raised and processed beef, I still don’t really like it because it’s still beef. I’m thinking a share of pork (excluding ham, YUCK) would be more up my alley… live and learn.
• Wren’s new-found mobility is thrilling to watch, but I’m not looking forward to a walking Wren. Not for the obvious reasons, but because her beautiful, perfectly round, delicious toes will start to flatten out. Sigh.

Dear readers, what confessions do you have this Sunday morning? By the way, you are forgiven.

Best!

Are you a list-lover or hater? I love to make lists. Some mental, some physical. Preferably on a real piece of paper. Often I misplace my hand-written lists, but a lot of it gets lodged in my head anyway. I read once (or someone told me more likely) that one is more likely to remember something if it gets written down–not typed–with your human hand. Even if you never see the notes/lists/ramblings again, the simple act of writing something down is what makes it stick. Fascinating! I was a crazy note-taker in high school and college. Sometimes I would come home and rewrite my notes. I know, I am such a nerd at heart. Sigh.

I was thinking in the shower this morning (yes, I managed to take one today!) about what I’m looking forward to this coming spring.  So here’s my latest list.

Spring Forward

• planting heirloom tomato seeds and watching them grow in our sun room/play room
• splashing in mud puddles in my lovely pea green galoshes that meine Mutti got me for my Birthday (thank you!)
• turning the compost pile
• making some raised beds and hauling in some soil
• singing “here comes Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail, hippity hoppity Easter’s on its way!”
• attending the Cedar Rod & Gun Club’s 50th (?) annual smelt dinner (sounds weird, but we love it!)
• watching the sap drip down the maple trees
• planning Wren’s first birthday party
• watching Wren discover the joys of mobility
• listening to Wren babble
• seeing Baby Turner #4
• riding my bike to yoga again
• taking family bike rides
• going on our favorite wildflower hike to the Treat Farm in the Sleeping Bear Dunes. When will the trillium bloom this year, do you think, dear readers?
• eating fresh asparagus every day
• using the grill again
• enjoying our front porch
• morel-hunting in our favorite spots (no, of course we won’t tell you where those are, silly.)
• and watching the spring bulbs pop out of the ground and push their way through the remains of winter, like this crocus:

What’s on your Spring Forward list, dear readers?

I am deliriously tired today after several almost-sleepless nights. After thinking about this, you might not think these things are funny. I do.

ONE

The nursery rhyme, Little Jack Horner.

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating his Christmas pie;

He stuck in his thumb,

And pulled out a plum,

And said, “What a good boy am I!”

I realize it rhymes, but… where do people come up with this stuff?

TWO

FMYLife Web site. The site where people share mundane, but bad, things that happened to them. For example…

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each other’s company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said, “you know, I really don’t understand why no one at work likes you.”

OOF.

THREE

Yesterday we received an Avon catalog and some thoughts accompanied it. Here are a few, exactly as written.

Hi,

I don’t want to disturb you; My name is Bonnie, and I’ve been an AVON Representative for a few months now and have met so many wonderful people!

….

One more thing, I always have a basket of AVON Goodies … for you to purchase at discounted prices! So if you would like to check out my basket and you see me in your neighborhood just give me a HEY AVON Lady!

HEY AVON lady! You’re disturbing me with your crappy letter!

Last, but not least

Wren’s hair. This is what happens if your Mama were to bundle you (and your damp hair) up in a snowsuit after swim class. Then YOU proceed to sleep for an hour or so…

Being that it’s Sunday, I think a confessions-only post is à propos. Although I’m not Catholic, I went to an all-girls Catholic school so along with an excellent education, I received a healthy dose of guilt. Therefore, confessions are in order!

Confessions

• We have tenants who live in the apartment above our garage. Technically, just Dave lives there, but his friend, Tom, pretty much lives there too. They kind of came with the place; we didn’t have to keep them, but thought “why not?” This decision came AFTER I researched the online sex-offenders registry… At first, Chris called Dave “Fonzie.” Not to his face, just in reference to him. As it turns out, he is no Fonzie. So I started referring to them as “Bert and Ernie.” Tom is tall with somewhat unruly eyebrows and Dave is short with somewhat unruly eyebrows. And they’re ambiguously gay. So “Bert and Ernie”  have stuck, but I’m a little worried about Wren slipping one day and calling them Bert and Ernie. Who knows, those might be her first words!? So where is this going and what do I have to confess? Well, we get Ernie’s mail in our mailbox and then we take it back to the garage mail bin every day. Although this might be a federal offense, I sometimes recycle pieces of his junk mail before delivering it… Gasp! Just crap from Charter Cable and the local casinos, which exclaim on the front, “We miss you! Come back!” But still. And I don’t open it. Now I know that’s a federal offense so I don’t go there… whew.
• I read once that Jennifer Aniston takes a three-minute shower. I know she’s a lot thinner than I, but still. How is this even possible?! Every day, I look at the clock when I jump in the shower and I can never get out under eight minutes. And this is only when I choose not to shave. The green guilt is killing me! My only saving grace is that some days I never fit in a shower so maybe it all averages out and I have more in common with Jennifer Aniston than I thought?
• Speaking of green guilt… I know we could probably save some money on our heating bill and help out the planet if I wore long-underwear during the day and turned the thermostat down a couple degrees, but they make me feel fat so I don’t. Sigh.
• I promised myself that I would not feed Wren any processed foods, but now she eats oyster crackers every day. And they’re not even organic. The horror! But I LOVE to hear her crunch them – she’s a toothless wonder! It’s hilarious! Plus, she loves them and a 16 oz box is only $1.99. Moving on.
• Old Navy sells “skinny” jeans in a size 20. They were on sale last I checked. I wonder why. If you wear a size 20, do you think “skinny” jeans are a good idea? 90% of the people I see in “skinny” jeans should not be wearing them, myself included. In fact, that fad could not pass quickly enough.
• Speaking of fashion, I judge people who wear sweat pants out of the house. This is ridiculous coming from me because I rarely look “put together,” but I will not be caught in sweat pants at the grocery store. Yoga pants, yes. Cotton sweat pants, no. They flatter no one.
• I had no idea I could love something (someone!) as much as my little birdie, Wren. It scares me sometimes.

Dear readers, what confessions do you have this Sunday morning? By the way, you are forgiven.

la la la la la la.

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin’ all of the time

Well, not really, but I like that song. While Mondays aren’t nearly as fun as Saturdays or Sundays, it can be nice to step back into a bit of a routine again after a fun weekend with the family. Strange how when I had a rigid schedule like a 9-5 (err, 8-6) gig so lovingly provides, I craved a bit more fluidity and spontaneity in my work life and now that I can barely scrape together any semblance of a schedule, I crave routine, order and control. Humans are just plain weird creatures. (Speak for yourself, lady! OK. Point taken.)

In an attempt to control some of my mild chaos, I like to make lists. Sometimes I write them down on scraps of paper and sometimes I use a simple Web site: Backpack. Check it out – it’s a cool organizational tool – good for sharing with a group of people too. Usually, I can check off a couple items from my list, but not enough to make me feel like I had a very productive day. To thwart any rising feelings of inadequacy, I often write down some other things I did accomplish that I didn’t think to put on the list. And then proceed to cross them off. Lame? Yes. Does it feel good? Yes.

change diaper

nurse

change diaper

nurse

change diaper

nurse

change diaper

nurse

change diaper

nurse

just kidding, I don’t write those down, but now that I think about it, I just might. Wow, what a day! The addition to my list might look more like this:

sew butt hole up in yoga pants

Now that looks really bad when written out, doesn’t it?, but I had a gaping hole in the back of my yoga pants. How else should I have written it? sigh.

Well, folks, happy Monday to you! May your coffee be strong and your Vitamin D intake be more than adequate.