Category Archives: Parenthood 101

just marketing?

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There were two things that I dreaded about becoming a mamma. Diapers? Nope. Sleeplessness? Nope.

“Kid food” and “kid music.” Both are awful. Is it just marketing or are these two things an inevitable part of my life for the next ten years? Wren is too young for me to know for sure, but my gut (albeit flabby) tells me it’s a marketing hoax. Keep in mind that this opinion comes from someone who works in the marketing field… and that could be good or bad.

First of all, kid food. Don’t get me wrong. I like macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers and fries (sugar, fat and salt, yum!), but we all know how bad they are for us. Most of all, however, they’re just plain old boring white things disguised as food. While it’s important to me that Wren learn good table manners, it’s really important that she be an adventurous eater. I realize, however, that some of it is out of my control and despite my best efforts, she still might only want to eat macaroni and cheese when she’s four. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try really hard to teach her to love the adventure of food. I’m really enjoying reading Hungry Monkey (A food-loving father’s quest to raise an adventurous eater) right now. If you’re possibly interested in reading the book, but aren’t quite sure, you can click here to read the first three chapters.

What we’re struggling with right now is that the little birdie will put everything we place on the table in front of her directly into her mouth, but she’s not into eating from a spoon anymore. Oh so independent…  She smiles, closes her mouth and politely turns her head waaaaay far away from the spoon. Although her name is Wren, she thinks that she’s an owl and can turn her head about 180 degrees in either direction. You go, girl!

Wren has exquisite taste in citrus, preferring honeybells to clementines. Thanks, Gran Jan!

Now for kid music.

Can someone please enlighten me? I’m not talking so much about lullabies, although the only song that ever comes to mind when I’m rocking Wren to sleep is Kumbaya and if I were her, I’d start requesting something new SOON. Other than possibly some questionable lyrics, why can’t children listen to the Rolling Stones, Vampire Weekend and Ani DiFranco? The thought of taking Wren to a Raffi concert makes me a bit queezy. We took her to a Breathe Owl Breathe concert and she loved it! They were Fun-ky and all three of us enjoyed it.

So my theory behind these two things is that it’s just marketing that makes us believe we have to serve or order “kid food” off the menu and buy “kid music” for our children and I’m just not buying into it. Yet. What do you think, dear readers?

Confessions.

  • My lentil soup I made the other day smelled really good, but I think it needed some sausage. It was really boring. Wren and Chris liked it though–good thing because I made a huge pot of it.
  • Orange is my favorite color today. Still.
  • I’m really impressed with Wren’s pincer grasp. She is getting really good at picking tiny things up. Go, Wren!
  • Thinking about using Twitter… or should I just stay away? Would you follow my tweets (err, drivel)?

Best!

shots.

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breaking news from the nest…

Wren had her flu booster shots and a Hep B shot so three total injections, blech, and… didn’t make a peep! She got a tiny bit red at one point, but my sweet little birdie didn’t cry. She kept grabbing for the nurse’s syringe though. Pretty funny. So I had no reason for retail therapy or a mini Frosty today. Win for the pocketbook and win for my waistline. And, of course, win for Ms Wren and win for my heart.

I gave Wren a bit of Motrin an hour before. Do you think that helped? Or maybe she’s acquiring her Mamma’s pain threshold? What an amazing birdie today! Thoughts?

setting the table.

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I’m no Emily Post, but I love to set the table. It was always my job as a kid and I still like to do it. I don’t like to fuss a lot with centerpieces or candles, but I appreciate a nicely set table. In our nest we always use cloth napkins, real plates and utensils at all meals because it makes enjoying a meal together as a family like more of an event; plus it just feels good. And I think food tastes better this way too. The fact that it’s also eco-friendly is a bonus!

One thing I hope for our family is that everyone will learn the basics of setting the table. So I was thrilled when I came across this fun idea – a printable placement that teaches kids where stuff goes!

Click here to visit Parents.com to download the printable placement. Your whole family can even decorate their own and get them laminated to use throughout the year. What a fun winter project. Enjoy!

wings

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Eight months ago the only significant fear I had was an irrational one of snakes. Worried was not a word that anyone would have used to describe me. Then Wren was born and after the initial wonder and elation quieted a tiny bit, the mother bear instinct took over. At first I found it thrilling and a bit charming, like “cool, something new. I’m really an animal. This is NATURE!” But it hasn’t gone away and it’s not really thrilling and certainly not charming anymore.

Everyone else on the road automatically turned into an awful driver and 125% of those people were simultaneously texting or talking on their cell phones. Driving to Target with a newborn was not quite as fun as I had hoped given the situation ‘out there.’ And there is still no way — almost eight months into this adventure — that I would let Wren go in a car without me. God forbid… And since she was born, I have not spent more than three hours away from her. “Oh, how sweet,” some might think. hhmph. I may occasionally even give others the illusion that I’m not protective of my daughter. “Sure, you can hold her…” But on a fundamental level, I’ve become what I never ever ever ever thought I’d become. A protective parent, teetering on the precipice of being over-protective. Yikes. The horror!

I used to just shake my head (and wince, a lot) at people who were over-protective of their children. I had no idea how one could even become so… err, strange. How could I possibly have become this way? This is not expected given my own childhood. I went on walks by myself down the street to the deer park when I was about three. And to the store for a few groceries too. My Dad thought it was cute to see me coming back with a bottle of beer. This was the Netherlands, but still. My parents threw me in a pool in Portugal around the same time and only afterward remembered that I might not even be able to swim. But, of course, I bobbed up to the surface and kept on going. Back in the US, I walked to school and all over the neighborhood. No worries. Nothing every happened; I didn’t get abducted. I was a happily independent, empowered child and this has carried with me through my whole life. Only now do I realize what a true gift this sense of empowerment was that my parents gave me as a wee one. Probably the single best gift, after my life. I had NO idea how hard it would be. To let go. Every day. Ouch. One of those weird things that down the road, you’ll be so glad you did, but at the time, it’s terrible. Kinda like getting out of bed to go for a run on a cold, dark morning. Speaking of which, I should do that too…

For inspiration, I look to this Gibran poem and hope that I can give my daughter the wings she needs to fly.

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Confessions.

  • Why do people think that when the phone rings and it’s a bad time for them, they HAVE to answer it?
  • Orange is my favorite color today. Still is. But I saw a shade of azure today and just about fell in love with it. I would like to name a boy Azure, but no one would pronounce it correctly and he would be scarred for life.
  • School is one of my loves. In fact, when I wasn’t in school, I would play school. Even now I just about pee my pants when it’s school supply time in August. I could easily be in school for the rest of my life. I like it more than real life.
  • One of my fantasies when I was in sixth grade was that I would become a film director, go to Hollywood and direct Tom Cruise in a film. We would commence to fall in love and get married. Then Katie Holmes went and married him. She’s my age. Weird.
  • I’m Canadian.

Resolutions.

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1. Get skinny. Wear a bikini!

Happy New Year! I love the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions. Sometimes I rewrite the list several times if I don’t like how my hand-writing looks. The better the list looks, the more likely I am to succeed? Like most people, however, I don’t even remember what I wrote by the time the snow melts in June (our nest is in northern Michigan so yes, I meant June). Usually I resolve to do pretty much the same trite things that could be on anyone’s list: get skinny in time to wear a swimsuit that I don’t hate in July, reach out to more friends and family on a regular basis, control the clutter, wipe away all consumer debt, start painting again, save the world. You know, the basics.

But I find myself in a different plane of existence this year.

I actually really truly might be able to wear a swimsuit I love even BEFORE Lake Michigan is warm enough to swim in. For the first time in many years, I’m well, not really very chubby anymore. I’m not what you would call thin exactly, but I’m in need of a smaller pair of jeans. And the fat lady sings indeed! Did I finally find self-control and muster up some will power? No, not really. Did I start running every day and eating lots of celery? Err, no.

Truth? It’s actually all Wren’s fault. She’s literally been sucking the life out of me for the past 7.5 months. I recommend the breastfeeding diet to everyone. If only everyone could go on the breastfeeding diet… Can’t believe the medical community hasn’t come up with a way to recreate this diet for all walks of life? But it’s not just that. When I gave birth to Wren without the use of any drugs, surgery (thank God!) or strange metal implements, I was simultaneously knocked on the head with a new body awareness. I might even call it “empowerment,” although that’s a pretty hackneyed phrase. This new sense of me has helped me to be a more mindful muncher. In addition, my new life as Wren’s Mamma makes me incredibly happy (albeit sleepy) so my consumption of ice cream has dropped. Operative word: dropped. Not ended, silly. My husband still thinks I would live on ribs and ice cream if it were up to me. I would add coffee to that list.

So now what’s a gal to do? I haven’t even written my 2010 list yet because it feels strange to have (almost) accomplished something that’s lived prominently on the top of the list for at least 16 years.

Here’s a start:

1. Get skinny. Wear a bikini!

1. Come up with a post-breastfeeding plan for later this year on how to stay smallish. Or skip it altogether–too much work!–and just get knocked-up again. Eventually that cycle would have to end or I’d end up like the woman across the street with thirteen (13!) children. But she’s very thin and always wears high heels so maybe we need to get together for a cup of coffee soon.

Confessions.

  • Talking on the phone? Yuck. I’m good for about the length of a Beatle’s song.
  • My latest pet-peeve is when people comment about my Facebook postings to me in person so I know they’re on Facebook…, but they haven’t updated their own status in eons. It’s just creepy.
  • Orange is my favorite color today. Still is.
  • Trying to turn our nest a bit greener and realizing it’s easier to buy something green–a soy candle or a bamboo hand towel–and greenwash myself than it is to actually make significant changes.
  • When you name your child after a bird (ahem, Wren), everyone gives you bird stuff. Please don’t give us anymore bird stuff. Yes, it’s seriously cute, but I don’t need any more knick-knacks to watch collect dust.
  • Loving our thigh-high snow.

Enjoy resolving something today.

Best!