I am deliriously tired today after several almost-sleepless nights. After thinking about this, you might not think these things are funny. I do.

ONE

The nursery rhyme, Little Jack Horner.

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating his Christmas pie;

He stuck in his thumb,

And pulled out a plum,

And said, “What a good boy am I!”

I realize it rhymes, but… where do people come up with this stuff?

TWO

FMYLife Web site. The site where people share mundane, but bad, things that happened to them. For example…

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each other’s company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said, “you know, I really don’t understand why no one at work likes you.”

OOF.

THREE

Yesterday we received an Avon catalog and some thoughts accompanied it. Here are a few, exactly as written.

Hi,

I don’t want to disturb you; My name is Bonnie, and I’ve been an AVON Representative for a few months now and have met so many wonderful people!

….

One more thing, I always have a basket of AVON Goodies … for you to purchase at discounted prices! So if you would like to check out my basket and you see me in your neighborhood just give me a HEY AVON Lady!

HEY AVON lady! You’re disturbing me with your crappy letter!

Last, but not least

Wren’s hair. This is what happens if your Mama were to bundle you (and your damp hair) up in a snowsuit after swim class. Then YOU proceed to sleep for an hour or so…